Okay I’m on semi-hiatus over the easter weekend starting tomorrow, it’s Hobbitcon time and I’ll be staying at a hotel in Bonn, obviously without my laptop and just phone it is..
So won’t be working on any fics or roleplays, sorry guys I’m on withdrawal already ><
if you ever feel like a failure, just remember that jack crawford and the fbi arrested a vegan as the main suspect on a cannibal case
Okay let me tell you about me weak spot. I felt the need to write this because I was hurt by people, not so much deliberately, but my brain is a vicious creature.
So my weak spot is, I live in constant fear of being ignored or forgotten. This might sound not like the biggest issue but it is, in fact, for me. I would like to leave an impression, something that nice, something that lasts - art - and besides that I need people (some, not en masse) to acknowledge me, give me feedback to stuff I say and create. I just… need an echo to feel alive, I dunno. I’m so terrified of being invisible and minor it hurts sometimes.
I take it personally when people follow me but never like or reblog anything that I post. Like, what are you even following me for? And then I see them reblogging something I posted - but from another person and go: you could have taken that from me. Did you do that on purpose, do I stink? Meh.
Okay this part might be stupid and the second is also rather more important to me: FEEDBACK. Especially with my writing stuff as a fanfic author: I don’t post that stuff for myself. I ALSO write stories for myself, because its just a need to get those out of my head. But I could also just leave them on my computer and be done with it (and sometimes these days I’m thinking about doing just that..) I post them to hear people tell me what they think about it. Did you like it? Did you not like it? Which part was best, or any suggestions? And YES writers do in fact check on the hits, count Kudos’ and read and reply to every single comment they get to a story they post. It’s what we (or I) feed on. I want to know if you liked my work! If its just for the hits but no Kudos or comment it could also mean ‘I clicked that story but naah it sucked balls’. And I’m then prone to the feeling of: it’s not enough, it’s never good enough. So please, IF you liked something - tell me!
I can’t read minds. And the work is non profit. Only reward writers get is in fact FEEDBACK, and I admit I’m greedy for that. Without I’m constantly loosing my drive to post or even write something. Yea I exactly am that weak. ;o
There’s a lotion that pushed your boobs up? What? I am so confused!
Tadaa~ don’t worry its complicated (das kriegt du bei dm wie’s aussieht… man fuck ich wollte das zeug von Kiko xD)